Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoiler Free Ryview

The Last Jedi, directed by Rian Johnson.

This is a spoiler free ryview, so if you're okay with what you've seen in the trailers already, no need to shy away.

Okay, let's go ahead and discuss the mixed audience reaction. Do you remember when a lot of people saw The Force Awakens and then complained that it didn't feel like Star Wars (while somehow also complaining that it was a ripoff of Episode IV)? Well, it's happening again. And with good reason. This is a drastic change from what came before it in the movies. It bucks tradition, goes to new and interesting places, and therefore pisses some people off.

What did I think? I think it's 100% Star Wars, and I can't wait to see it again.

Monday, November 20, 2017

What Happens If Disney Buys 21st Century Fox

Hi Everybody!

As you may have heard, there are rumors that Disney is trying to buy 21st Century Fox (the entertainment portion anyway, not the news part). This is a big deal with the Marvel community because of the possible integration of the Fantastic Four and X-men into the MCU. But is it that simple? (pause for dramatic effect). No, no it isn't. (That was why I paused).

Friday, October 13, 2017

Better Than The Critics Said - Victoria and Abdul - Mostly Spoiler Free Movie Ryview

Victoria and Abdul, directed by Stephen Frears.

Please note: This is a Mostly Spoiler Free Ryview, meaning I will spoil some minor early plot points to better expand on my opinions. By no means am I ruining all the twists and turns, but if you want to remain in the dark, you may proceed with gouging out your eyes (or, you know, closing the article).

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

All the Glitz But None of the Heart - Kingsman: The Golden Circle Spoiler Free Movie Ryivew

Kingsman: The Golden Circle, directed by Matthew Vaughn.

This will be spoiler free (aside from what's been readily available in trailer form). So the usually note applies: blah blah "if you don't want any info don't read any more" blah blah "won't spoil plot points" blah blah "Snape kills Hermione"

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Not The Most Accurate Title - Sword Fight Ryview

Sword Fight, by Tovrick.

Sword Fight is an idle game where you slog through sword fights while training apprentices and buying upgrades. It's a pretty solid delivery of a manager idle game, but like several I've played lately, there isn't enough going on to really keep me entertained.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

"So They've Just Stopped Making Them Look Like Games" - Groundhog Life Ryview

Groundhog Life, by egosummo.

Groundhog life is an idle game (sort of). It's actually a time management game that transitions into an idle game once you've reset your game enough. This isn't necessarily new to idle games, but if you look at the two main fields, clicker and time management, this is 100% in the latter.

It's not a pretty game. I'm not even sure it's a fun game, in a strict sense of the word. But I'm obsessed with it.

Like, super obsessed.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Deadpool and Nick Fury Walk Into A Bar - The Hitman's Bodyguard Movie Ryview

The Hitman's Bodyguard, directed by Patrick Hughes.

I was lucky enough to attend a pre-screening of the movie, so I'm actually able to get this out when normal reviews would happen! Weird, isn't it?

Obviously, due to the early nature of this ryview, this will remain Super Ultra Spoiler-Free. The only details I'll reveal are the ones readily available on Wikipedia.

Ryan's Rating: 8 Motherfuckers/10

Ryan's Rycommendation: See the Movie

Monday, June 26, 2017

Legally Distinguishable Katamari - Idle Roller Flash Ryview

Idle Roller, by Truefire.

Do any of you Katamari? That game where you roll around and collect stuff to gain mass? Well, now there's an idle game that totally rips off that concept!

Monday, June 5, 2017

Wonder Woman Didn't Save the DCEU, But It's An Important First Step - Wonder Woman Spoiler Free Movie Ryview

Wonder Woman, directed by Patty Jenkins.

(Sidebar: I keep typing Woman Woman...not sure what's going on, but it that typo sneaks into the final article, just ignore it and move on).

I know it was the title of the article, but I'll reiterate here: Wonder Woman didn't save the DCEU, but it's an important first step. After 3 mediocre to bad entries, DC finally hits one out of the park. And I largely blame the director (although, as I describe below, a few other people deserve some credit).

Friday, May 19, 2017

SHIELD Intercepts Leave Marvel Puzzle Quest - Ryview RyPort

Hi Everybody!

Just when you thought "is he finally done with this blog?" I swoop back in with some weird slightly-news post.


A quick note on that: I've made a lot of lofty goals in the past: I'll post one article every weekday! I won't disappear for months between posts! I'll wear pants today!

At this point, given how busy I've been with my actual paying job and so forth, I think it's time to lay out a new mission statement: I will make new posts when I'm willing an able. There may be gaps. It may be off topic. It may be inconsistent. But in the long run, this isn't go away. My incoherent babbling will go on for years to come. It just may not happen for some of the intervening months...

Anywho, time for a news!

Monday, April 17, 2017

Idling With A Twist of Sim City - Bit City Ryview

Bit City, by NimbleBit.

I started playing Bit City because an io9 article told me to. It's not my proudest moment, but I can say that it's a fairly enjoyable way to spend your time tapping.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Archer Season 8 Episode 1: No Good Deed Ryview

Hi Everybody!

Archer is back!

And so am I!

After a month of absence (sorry about that, single reader), I'm proud to announce my triumphant return to writing articles (and making videos!!1!) that no one will watch or read. Except for you, apparently...

At any rate, true to form with my usual off-topicness, my return article is a ryview of a tv episode (it's like a game, except, well, it's nothing like a game).

So enjoy...

Archer Season 8, Episode 1: No Good Deed

WARNING: The following post will contains mild spoilers for the previous season on Archer, so if you haven't watched season 7, go to your shame corner and turn on netflix. I will avoid spoiling *almost* anything from Season 8.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

The Plot for The Batman (2018(?) Movie)

Hi Everybody!

Usually my "The Plot for" articles are entirely parody and/or humor. In this case, I actually wanted to have a serious discussion with all of you about how this movie needs to go.

"This movie needs all the help it can get" - Ben Affleck, probably, when he abandoned directing it [1]

Let's start with a few facts/opinions/rumors:

1) Regardless of any behind the scenes shenanigans going on right now, it still looks like Batfleck (probably) will be facing off against DeathJoe (Deathstroke played by Joe Manganiello, official cute mashup name in progress).

2) It was heavily implied during BvS:DoJ (because fuck the full title) that the Joker had already killed Jason Todd. This is also probable given the film's numerous references and homages to The Dark Knight Returns, which featured a Batman who retired due to Jason's death.

3) There is apparently a Nightwing movie in production, which helps solidify the probably theory that Robin as Dick Grayson has come and gone.

Now, I know what you're thinking: I spent 2 minutes reading that pile of facts? What have you done for me lately?

Shut up and buckle in.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Ryviews in Real Life - The Oakland Zoo

Hi Everybody!

I recently went to the Oakland Zoo for the first time. The only thing I saw on Yelp reviews beforehand was that it was small for a city of this size. I thought "hey, I have a free day. Let's check it out!"

Well, let me tell you...

It's small for a city of this size.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

I Expected A Trainwreck - XXX: Return of Xander Cage Ryview

XXX: Return of Xander Cage, directed by D. J. Caruso.

First off, I want to clarify: I saw this movie expecting a trainwreck. What I got was both pointlessly stupid and stupidy pointless. It was a cliched pile of lines and action. Yet it might have been the best movie I've seen in a long time.

To surge through this oxymoron, you have to look at some basic facts about the movie. Almost every character seemed to be playing a parody of their own role. There was literally a "that's what she said" joke in the middle. And at the end I was more than a little surprised that they didn't ride off into the sunset.

That being said, the movie was very self aware. There were little title cards for most of the characters as they first appeared with humorous little facts. And several action scenes were highlighted by comedic moments, showcasing that everyone involved (or at least most) knew what they were getting into to.

The plot was predictable and silly, but I found myself not caring. Watching Vin Diesel and Donnie Yen kick ass around the world was pretty satisfying. And while there was a little too much female fawning over Mr. Vin (and all while wearing the world's shortiest skirts like Single Female Lawyer), the cast was actually impressively diverse both in gender and nationality.

Eye candy AND ass kicking female roles (complex movie) [2]

The action was entertaining. There was a lot of nice gunfights, some good hand to hand combat, a few nice set pieces and extreme sport-like acrobats, and enough over the top machismo to blow a hole in someone's head.

As a total movie package, if you approach this as an exciting romp with which to eat popcorn and giggle, this is a wonderful delivery mechanism. If you're looking for a deep, thoughtful, meaningful, or intelligent moviegoing experience, you should probably look elsewhere. But honestly, I think everyone knows what this movie is going to be going into it. And for what it was, it excelled with flying colors.

Until next time,


Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Welcome to 2017!

Hi Everybody!

It's 2017, and I haven't had a single post!

Where have I been?

Super busy with work. Super busy with other things in my life. And super busy in general.

But, have no fear!

Hopefully things will pick back up soon!

I'll be trying to submit several ryviews in the coming weeks. It's a new year, time to get some fresh articles.

Be on the lookout for new content, starting as early as tomorrow! W00t!

Until next time,